I’m parting ways with Paxil

I've been on Paxil for about ten years. A few weeks ago, in conjunction with my shrink, I started tapering my dose in hopes of going off it entirely. When I started taking antidepressants about 15 years ago, I was in the middle of an unhappy marriage, struggling between the twin monsters of anxiety and depression. I was miserable for reasons both inherent and external, and I desperately needed the break that medication could give me. When you lock yourself in your studio apartment watching CSI DVDs and come close to chopping your own hair off because you don't deserve to look pretty, you need it. I needed a way to let myself breathe. I couldn't get out from under the thousand-pound Godzilla chasing me from paralyzed inaction to self-destructive behavior. I honestly credit medication and therapy and supportive friends and family with saving my life back then. But things have changed in the past ten years for me. I'm confident, I know what I want to do with myself and am working actively to make that happen. I found a group of people I'm proud and pleased to know and spend time with. My life is full and happier than I would have thought possible right after my divorce. So why remove Paxil from the equation? What are you thinking, woman??!? I'm thinking - I want to feel things again. Paxil put a huge limiter on my emotions, and when I started it, I needed it. My doctor refers to it as a medical sledgehammer, though. It doesn't just level my depression and anxiety. It also limits the joys I can feel, the sorrows, the angers. When everything was off the scale, that was [...]